SHAKESPEARE
AND IT'S HARD
IT'S HARD
IT'S REALLY, REALLY HARD -
SO VERY VERY HARD
I MAKE IT LOOK EASY BUT HONEY BELIEVE ME
IT'S SO INCREDIBLY HARD
SO INCONCEIVABLY, UNBELIEVABLY HARD
IT'S HARD TO BE THE BARD
(to his entourage)
Honestly, I don't know how I do it. I mean, there's only so much of me that can go around.
'CAUSE IT'S HARD
IT'S REALLY, REALLY HARD
IT'S SEXY BUT IT'S HARD
THIS BAR THAT I'M RAISING TO BE THIS
AMAZING
IT'S SO ANNOYINGLY HARD
SO UNAVOIDABLY UNENJOYABLY HARD
IT'S HARD to be the bard, BABY
(turning to his men)
I know writing made me famous, but being famous is just so much more fun.
…
THEN YOU WRITE DOWN A WORD BUT IT'S NOT THE RIGHT WORD
SO YOU TRYA NEW WORD BUT YOU HATE THE NEW THE WORD
AND YOU NEED A GOOD WORD BUT YOU CAN'T FIND THE WORD
OH WHAT IS IT, WHERE IS IT, WHERE IS IT, WHAT IS IT
AH-HA-HA-HA-HA.... UGGGGGHHHHH
(talking to his quill)
What is it?? Tell me!...
(as the quill)
You know what you are?
(as Shakespeare)
Please, enlighten me
(as quill)
You're a petulant little boy and a fraud.
(Strangling quill)
Shut up, mother!!
VALET
Sir.
Hello.
You asked for information on what Nicholas Bottom is writing. Our spy is here with
news.
(whispering to servant)
Did he see me losing it?
He's half blind, sir.
Oh, good. Then he only saw half of it. Ha ha, see what I did?
(to the Eyepatch Man)
Speak, man. What news?
EYEPATCH MAN
I saw Nick Bottom, I did. He paid a soothsayer to foresee what Shakespeare's
greatest play would be.
<GASP>
That sneaky little thief! Why doesn't he get his own idea?
BARD BOYS
IT’S HARD
Oh yeah, it is, isn’t it?
IT’S REALLY THE WORST
WELL I'LL HOIST HIM BY HIS PETARD
ALL THAT I NEED IS A CLEVER DISGUISE
I'LL MAKE HIM PAY FOR HIS DEVIOUS LIES
LET HIM DO ALL THE TEDIOUS STUFF
THE WORK THAT'S TERRIBLY AND UNBEARABLY
H A A - A RRRRD
Nice try, Nick Bottom. But I think Shakespeare needs to find out what Shakespeare's
biggest hit will be.
Last changed2 years ago