Definition of love
- (actions, thoughts, feelings associated to)desire to enter or maintain a close relationship with specific person
Effects of Familiarity
o Mere exposure -> indicates absence of threat
o Ease of interaction (low maintenance)
o Higher likelihood of positive interaction e.g;
§ Source of info and validation of own opinions (Mastery)
§ Shared destiny -> sense of connectedness
§ Self-disclosure
-> helps to discover similaritys (see next point
Importance of physical attractiveness
Hatfield study: Physical attractiveness best predictor for mutual liking on first dates (across genders)
o Less important for familiar individuals
o Less important for already committed individuals
o more relevant for men than women
§ Emp. Support; Gay men value attractiveness more as well , stable attractiveness …
è In long-term relationship matching partner attractiveness more important
Proximity effect (Proppoinquity)
o spatial closeness& frequent interaction= increase in liking
o Exemplar Study;
§ College Dorm Study (Festinger);
· Best friends were close Neighbours increasing distance of rooms= less likely
· People who live at “hotspots” were more popular
§ Seat neighbours(Rohrer);
· Increases likelihood of friendship from 15 to 22%
§ (Rosenfeld&Thomson)
· Spacial closeness used to be unchallenged predictor
o Most ppl met through friends
· Increased mobility -> online dating has gotten most popular (since c.a 2010)
Factors body attractiveness
§ Women; Waist to Hip Ratio of 0.7
§ Men; Inverted triangle
· Body attractiveness NOT universal (Surprise.)
§ Attractiveness of weight;
· In low income countrys-> higher weight
· In high income countrys-> lower weight
Effect of similarity
§ More opportunity for interaction
§ Higher likelihood for positive interaction
§ Mutual (automatic) understanding (less processing effort)
§ Increased predictability
§ Assumption of acceptance& liking (thinking someone likes us = we like them back)
§ Validation of own values &beliefs (cus more likely to agree)
§ Implicit egotism (we evaluate selfrelated things more favouably)
o Similar likes are more important predictors than shared dislikes
Friends categoricalsimilarity
Couples attitudinal similarity
MArriage personality-similaritys
effect of Self disclosure
o Increases intimacy (reciprocity norm -> other also tells)
o -> increased liking,knowledge/understanding, support…
o Triggers sympathetic response
o Facilitates interaction
Factors facial attractiveness
§ Bilateral Symmetry (predicts prior birth developmental stability)
§ Smooth skin ( indicate health
§ Gender specific
· Women; youth cues ( indicate fertility -> eg.baby face)
· Men; dominance cues (indicate testosterone levels/protection -> lage jaw)
§ Averageness (if you morph a lot of people the mophed spawn is the prettiest (I guess?!))
Types of love by Hatfield
o Passionate love ; intense emotion, sexual affection, anxiety
§ Transitionary state (6-30 months), impossible to maintain indefinitely because its like drugs (cant increase dose to maintain effect) -> resembles addictive craving
§ Culture dependant ?
o Compassionate love; intimacy, attachment, affection and trust,
§ Longer duration, stems from mutual respect and understanding
· -> interdependence (behavioral, affective,cognitive)
Triangular theory of love
o Three core ingedients; Passion , intimacy, commitment
-> last two(companionat) are minimum for lasting relationship
Attachment styles
o Two dimensions;
§ Anxiety (view of self, high-low)
§ Avoidance (view of others, high- low)
Secure
§ Positive view of self &others
Dismissing
§ Positive view of self, negative of others
§ Avoiding close relationships
Preoccupied
§ Negative view of self, positive of others
§ Striving for acceptance from others (self dependent on relationships)
Fearful
§ Negative view of self & others
§ Low intimacy and trust
MAin factor of Stable relationships
Commitment
§ Accomodation & Forgiveness
§ Willingness to sacrifice
§ Perceived relationship superiority
§ Derogation of alternatives
NOT intensity of love
Satisfaction leads to commitment
Equity Theory (adams)
§ ); Cost-Reward calculation, if there is imbalance-> leaving relationship
· Rewards; love, support, car, house…
· Costs: personal freedom,…
Comparison level Theory
§ Comparing current relationship to alternative, if alternative is not better-> ppl stay in unsatisfactory relationships
· Comparison level ; Expectations/standards of relationship
· Comparison level of alternative; attractiveness of alternative partners
Investment model (Rusbult)
§ Invested (emotional, financial,…) resources -> sunk cost effect (potential cost of withdrawal) -> ppl. Stay in relationship despite possible alternatives and missing satisfaction
Interdependence
types
§ Affective (influence on wellbeing,…)
§ Cognitive (Partner is part of self concept)
§ Behavioral (Partner influences decisions, activities,…)
Health implications of relationships
- Being in relationship without love is healthier than not being in a relationship
o Lage social network = higher subjective wellbeing & lower mortality rate
o Steady& satisfying romantic relationship/high marital quality= higher happiness/health
o Ppl in Relationships =better survivalchances with heartattacks, cancer ,…
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